Ocho Cinco???

So i just got a phone call from my boy who was reading some NFL insider shizz and he told me that Chad Johnson aka Ocho Cinco has all but publicly said he wants out of Cincinnati this off season. I was then told that redskins insider has said not to be surprised if he ends up in DC next season.. THAT WOULD BE AMAZING we would finally have a receiver with size and also be a deep threat. I think that he would an amazing off-season addition to the skins and we could REALLY use a reciever with size... 'Cuz we all know we dont really have one. Sorry Brandon Lloyd but your career as a redskin was short lived and you never quite lived up to the hype... As my friend Russell puts it "he's just too pretty to go across the middle and take a big hit" 

Now that we would have receivers with size and speed Jason Campbell aka Black Jesus would be able to do what he does... and that is throw beautiful touchdowns.. And lets not lie, the skins could always use another personality in the locker room to compliment Clinton Portis and Captain Chaos Chris Cooley.. Another great off-season move would be to trade Chris Samuels...'cuz he BLOWS!!!! He makes the pro-bowl every year for some odd reason and its kind of like how Grant Hill used to make the All-star game after playing in like 2 games then doing what he does best and thats breaking his ankle.. Sorry Chris Samuels, but I hate you and you are THE MOST OVERRATED offensive linemen in the history of the NFL. That could be your claim to fame, 'cuz your skill definitely is not...

So Dan Snyder this is what you need to do, offer Chris Samuels for Ocho Cinco!!!! Take advantage of Samuels' being so over rated and lets get someone good for him!!! Ocho Cinco and his dances are more than welcome in the D.M.V

Rain Drops in the Desert

The Arizona Wildcats had another impressive victory today against the University of Washington Huskies and "made it rain" in the desert town known as Tucson a.k.a the "dirty dirty". After a pretty back and forth first half the Wildcats pulled away in the second half and ended up winning the game 84-69.

Jerryd Bayless did what he always does, and thats dominate offensively and shut down his man on the other end of the floor, and ended the game with 26 points. Chase Budinger also had a great game and ended up with 25 points. And once again "J-Skrilla" aka Jordan Hill dominated the glass and the paint, blocking anything within a 5 foot radius of the hoop, he ended the game with 16 points, 11 rebounds, and 5 blocks. Nic Wise and Jawaan McClellan helped out and made it rain from the 3 point line to help beat the Huskies. 

Its nice to finally see us making 3 pointers!!!! and when we make them, we cant be beat. Watching todays game was quite entertaining because the second half consisted of us shitting all over the huskies and watching Lorenzo Romar's facial expressions throughout the process was PRICELESS. The announcers throughout the game commented on the louder and more energetic U of A crowd, which is always nice to hear, props go out to the "Zona Zoo." 

Dan Snyder You Retarded Retard

Why the Fuck did you fire Gregg Williams and Al Saunders? So we could have another year of offensive and defensive insecurity while trying to learn a NEW SYSTEM?!?!? Have you ever heard of the saying "if it aint broke don't fix it" you ass clown. Jason Campbell was just learning Al Saunders 180 page playbook and we had Todd Collins to come save us when black jesus aka Jason Campbell went down for the season but now what do we have, NOTHING. Our players liked them, our fans loved them, and then you came along with your life partner Vinny Cerrato and F'd everything up!!! You daggered the D.M.V and now were all sitting here wondering what could possibly be next. 

I would not be surprised if Clinton Portis doesn't take the pay cut he was talking about and goes to another team, where he would have to do what he's gonna have to do here and that is LEARN A NEW OFFENSE. Why would you ruin such a good thing. We had the two-headed monster in place and we were ready to spray paint our names all over the NFC east next season!!! As a fan, I hope you and whoever you hire prove me wrong....Hail to the Redskins!!

For the record...

I would just like to make this clear.... Devin Sullivan is the WORST wii bowler ever.. as a wii veteran myself I can tell you that alcohol often improves ones ability to "do what you do" on the wii, but for this "light weight" it rattled him and his game. And for the record the daily doughja was wrong with his "friday special" he lost to both Moulton and Pumar, and lost bad. 

The Daily Doughjo

So we had a rough debut. You stick with you home squads and don't use any discretion when gambling, and you're gonna get burned. Glad that we have all learned our lesson. After a one day hiatus to cope with the Caps and Wizards losses, the Daily Doughjo is back with the three best ways to fatten your wallet on this beautiful Friday.

Phoenix Suns (-1) at Cleveland Cavs

The Suns have won the last three meetings between these two squads. The Suns players went out in Cleveland last night to find a fun place to get wasted, so they should be well-rested. And the West is just better.

Portland TrailBlazers (-2) vs. Houston Rockets

The Blazers have been playing some of the best ball in the league over the last month, and are 18-6 ATS in its last 24 at home--only giving 2 at home shows that they are an undervalued team.

Washington Wizards (-8) vs. Memphis Grizzlies

The Wiz are going to come back strong after what Caron "Tough Juice" Butler called a "major league butt-whooping". This team has a lot of pride and they will take out their frustrations on the lowly Memphis Grizzlies. Those Spaniards will be running out of the phone booth like they are in the streets of Pamplona in July.

Homer Picks (0-2) Regular Picks (1-0)

******Special Friday Bonus Pick************

Sullivan (+800) v. Moulton/Pumar--Wii Bowling

He's just gonna knock over more pins. Period.

The U of A-Yo!!!

Last night the Arizona Wildcats (my alma matter) upset Number 6 Washington State aka "Wazzou", due in large parts to the performance of our STUD point guard Jerryd Bayless, who had 23 points, 6 assists, 2 steals, and locked down Wazzou's senior point guard (and leader) Derrick Low, who didn't score until 2:38 remained in the game. I mean, we are known as "Point Guard U" for a reason here people...Chase Buddinger also did his part, turning in 22 points and "made it rain" with 4 monster 3 pointers. "J-Skrilla" aka Jordan Hill played a ridiculous game on the defensive end of the floor and finished the game with 6 blocks and 10 boards to go along with his 4 points...he's nasty... at one point he swatted Kyle Weaver's shot into the seats...."ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!? " (imagine Dick Vitale saying it) Which then sparked a 10-2 run by the 'cats midway through the second half to put the game out of reach for those apple eaters/coffee drinkers from Pullman, Washington. 

The Wildcats handed Wazzou only their second loss of the year and re-established that they are the shiizzzzznit. This is the second time this season that the Wildcats knocked-off a top-10 team, after beating broke-back Texas A&M earlier this year (Should be the third but we somehow blew the Kansas game, I wont get into that one though). The "run and gun" wildcats played like they always do, attempting 21 3 pointers, but this time, we actually made more than we missed!!! hitting 12-21 a decent 57%.  Lil' Nic Wise even helped out with 3 3-pointers to help the cats pull off this much needed win. Another major reason for the win was the 87% free throw percentage the cats had, going 20-23 from the stripe. The game was close throughout the first half, but in the second half the wildcats blew the game open. After the game, Washington State's head coach said "We were still in the game at halftime, but the floodgates opened."

After the game J-Skrilla told reporters the crowd was the difference maker, which is not surprising, as a former member of the wildcat nation aka "Zona Zoo" let me tell you, shit gets rowdy!!! What do you expect when thousands of students show up on a "thirsty" thursday night (arguably Arizona's best party night, other than Mon, Tues, Wed, Fri, Sat, and Sun) hammered drunk!!! The crowd of nearly 15,000 packed the McKale Center and were waving towels that were handed out before the game. I got a lot of texts from friends who were there, and they said shit was getting rowdy. I guess good things happen when you sneak in flasks and mini-bottles and pour some "deliciousness" into that Soda or Gatorade that mom and dad bought (thanks to your CatCard)... 

Hopefully this win will help the 'cats get their shit together and "spray paint their names" all over the Pac-10 this season. We have another big game coming up tomorrow (saturday) against Washington and hopefully we will send those huskies back to the rainy northwest with their tails between their legs. 

PLEASE Arizona, don't blow it.... Keep it up, I have faith in you guys, don't make me enter a stage of depression... PLEASE 

Super Bowl

On feb. 3rd the New York Football Giants will go up against arguably the best football team that I have ever laid eyes on (I'm only 22). And I am pretty sure that they will lose, but I think that they will cover that 13.5 point spread that vegas has predicted. If you look back, the Patriots have not covered in 7 of their last 8 games. I think that the Patriots are a lot better than the G-men but they have not played a really good game in a while, but they still are the Patriots, and you gotta give them credit. 18-0 is pretty insane. 

The reason I think the Giants will cover is becasue the G-men are playing really good football right now, and at the helm of it all is Eli (the retarded Manning brother) who has not thrown an interception or had a fumble in all 3 post-season games. Which is mind boggling, because fumbling may be Eli's middle name... but anyways their D is solid and I think Brandon Jacobs is a work horse. But in the end, the Patriots and their "spygate" tendencies will be just too much for lil Eli and big old Brandon Jacobs. The patriots offense will keep the Giant D out on the field for way too long and tire them out with little 5-7 yard passes underneath to Wes Welker and when the Giants start to creep up, RANDY MOSS will superman those hoes!! I think that the Giants will lose by 10-13 points but in the end they will cover and if the game was played with a spread they would be NFL Champions, but its not and for that reason The Cheating Patriots will go 19-0* and be Super Bowl Champions... and to quote Weezy F. baby  they will be "poppin' bottles (of Sam Adams) like they won a championship game"

The Daily Dough-Jo

Introducing the Daily Dough-Jo, where the Daily Dagger gives you three incredibly simple ways to double your money or end up in the poor house.

Detroit Pistons (-5.5) at Philadelphia 76ers

Philadelphia Center Samuel Dalembert recently commented at a hockey game "I'm just here to watch these guys play some ball". He is also probably their best player. While Mo Cheeks has shown he can teach the national anthem to a 10 year old, he probably has a tough time teaching this guy to play ball. Detroit romps the Sixers in Philly.

Washington Capitals (+112) at Toronto Maple Leafs

The Caps are playing the best hockey in the league right now. They are 8-2-0 in their last ten bettering all NHL teams, and their fearless leader Alexander Ovechkin has taken over the NHL goal scoring lead with 38 goals in just 48 games. The caps are 3-0-1 in their last 4 trips to the Air Canada Centre. Perhaps as importantly, the Maple Leafs suck. Home-ice advantage is overpriced into this line.

Washington Wizards (+4.5) at Cleveland Cavaliers

Because when the Cavs play at home, Lebron doesn't travel, and when Lebron doesn't travel, the Cavs can't beat the Wiz kids.

*While you may accuse the Daily Dagger of making homer picks for this inaugural edition of the Daily Doughjo, you will quickly notice that all of these teams are in fact on the road.

*Were not held responsible for your gains/losses 'cuz of our advice..

Daniel Snyder, what are you doing?!?!?

I just read a story about how all signs are pointing to Jim Fassel to be named the next Head Coach of the Washington Redskins... wait, wait, wait...WHAT?!?!?! Daniel Snyder are you as retarded as your long-lost cousin David Snyder??? You NEED to hire Gregg Williams, not some old, washed-up assistant coach who blew it for the ravens a few years back as a "consultant" and then ended up being fired by his best-friend Brian Billick. 

What the hell are you thinking jeopardizing our teams continuity?!?! Our players LOVE Gregg Williams and so do our fans, he has made our Defense a force to be recon'd with, and if you offer this job to Fassel, you know Gregg Williams is going to leave. Then were going to get Rex Ryan...who?? Who the hell is Rex Ryan, we NEED Gregg Williams.

 I understand you wanting to go out and shop for a big name head coach, but if that is what your trying to do at least wait for a big name coach to become available, not some washed-up, shitty ass assistant coach!!! 

When God aka Joe Gibbs decided to retire, he left with the mindset that Gregg Williams would be named his replacement, now here you come Dan Snyder, and your going to mess this all up. I guarantee if you hire this D-bag (former Giants coach) our players and fans will hate you, and we will lose our defensive GENIUS.. Here's a suggestion stick to buying and running your burger monopoly that is Johnny Rockets, stick to charging 13 dollars for cheeseburgers at FedEx and leave the football decisions to someone (anyone) that knows what they are doing!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not hire Jim Fassel and his life partner Rex Ryan!!! 

You should keep the hiring process in-house and create the double-headed monster that is Gregg Williams and Al Saunders, combined they will be the scariest, most bad ass head coach (or co-head coaches) in the N.F.L. If you bring in a new staff, that means a new system...why jeopardize what we already have?!?!? Our offense was finally clicking, our defense was REDICULOUS... Get your head out of your ass and please, please don't ruin all the good things we have going for us right now. 

Make a decision with all your players in mind, do you think Jason Campbell wants to learn a new offense, he was just 1/4 of the way into the current one.. You think C Po wants to run a Jim Fassel offense? NOPE You think LaRon "the suicide mission" Landry wants to be in a Rex Ryan defensive scheme?? Doubt it. So please Daniel Snyder I ask you in the name of "dear 8lb 6 oz baby jesus"... JUST HIRE GREGG WILLIAMS!!!!

What a donk

I was just reading RealGM.com (a good site for up to the minute info for pretty much any sport) and I saw that Isiah Thomas was quoted saying "We need a Kevin Garnett" during an interview, to try to explain why his New York Knickabockers are SO awful at basketball. NO SHIT ISIAH, we all need a Kevin Garnett... who doesnt need a 6'11 power forward that can pretty much play any position on the court (literally)?? Who doesn't need a player who is averaging basically a double-double every night (right now he's averaging 19.3 pts, 9.8 rebounds, oh and 3.8 assists per game)?? Are you serious, the balls Isiah has, to try to blame his teams demise on the fact that he doesn't have an MVP type player on his team.. Maybe it's your fault the knicks suck..ever think of that?? You suck as a basketball coach, you always have!!! You were an amazing basketball player, but as a coach you are pretty pretty pretty bad!! I was at the knicks vs. Wiz Kids game last friday at "the phone booth" aka the Verizon Center, and I had seats behind the knicks bench (unfortunately) and I got to witness 1st hand just how bad of a coach Isiah truly is. At every full-length timeout and T.V. timeout (which last about like 3-5 minutes) Isiah sat there on the floor staring at the big screen for more than half the length of the timeouts...here's an idea Isiah... instead of bitching about your lack of talent, try COACHING, use all the time you have to get your players to understand what they have to be doing and where to be out there on the court. And don't stab them in the back after a game (and probably a loss) by saying that you need better players. This is the N.B.A, the best of the best, the cream of the crop, and you have the balls to say you need better players?!?!? your 12 players are 12 of the best basketball players in the ENTIRE WORLD come on now.. There are currently 491 active players in the NBA, granted yours may not be the 12 best players but they are definitely not the 12 worst either... I think instead of you bitching about your lack of talent, your players should be bitching about their lack of coaching.. I'm sorry knick fans for having to put up with such a D-bag of a coach...Dolan do us all a favor and FIRE ISIAH!! 

Oh and another reason why Isiah is a complete IDIOT...he said "their record was ours last year, but they got (bleep) Kevin Garnett" uhh D-bag they also got Ray Allen one of the better 2 guards in the N.B.A!!!! Oh but i guess he doesn't count 'cuz he's only averaging 18.2 points, 4 rebounds, and 3 assists per game (only a point and 5 boards shy of Garnett) Ray Allen's leadership and character may be more of a reason why the Celtics have had such a drastic change, but lets be honest here, any team that gets 2 all stars like that over-night is gonna have drastic changes in their record...oh and it helps that they have a real coach in Doc Rivers, and not a D-bag like Isiah Thomas, who may be bad enough to even make the celtics suck with their current line-up...

Oh and finally, way to go with the whole sexual harassment lawsuit...ya dousche

The Wiz Kids

So yesterday, I hopped on the metro and headed down to D.C to watch the amazing Wizards a.k.a the Wiz Kids do what they does, and thats win. We beat on the Western Conference contenders, the Dallas Mavericks just like I predicted we would. Although I must admit other than Josh Howard, they really did not look that good. Dirk was off his game, rattled, could not hit a shot! You could tell he was noticeably upset with himself after the game, walking off the court with his head down and his tail between his legs..He did not even acknowledge his own people, a group of germans with signs in german and a huge German flag.. Even the guy next to me admitted "that was a little cold" of Nowitzki to do. 

But as for the true ballers, the Wiz Kids or as some of us like to call them the Bullets, they played amazing. Caron Butler continued to show that he is one of the NBA's most versatile and best 3-men and a legit all-star. His energy and all-style of play really energized our team and our fans. DeShaun played amazing as well and he had really started to find his shot, even from like 40 ft. out. He truly cannot feel his face, it must be thanks to that "White Girl" which some of us call Lindsay Lohan... Nicky Hatten aka Nick Young also put on a show and reminded us all why he feels he should be in the Dunk Contest at all-star weekend, but like I stated in earlier blogs he was F'd my the NBA..HARD... Antawan Jamison contributed like he always does with his close to double-double numbers after a slow first half with only 4 points, and even managed to hit a fair amount of 3's (which is quite rare) and even Antonio Daniels played well and lead the offense like he is supposed to seeing as he is the "offensive genius" of the wizards and no one else knows the plays.

 Finally, I would like to give a shout out to Eddie Jordan, I must admit at one point I did hate on him, but now I see why he is such a well respected coach throughout this league. He manages 12 very charismatic personalities and even manages to make them play with each other, and quite well might I add. 

P.S. I would like to add that I missed Nick Young's ridiculous dunk yesterday, and was forced to watch it on the T.V's at the Hot Dog stand because my boy NEEDED to get his chili-cheese dog which he waited over 20 minutes for and somehow inhaled it in less than 2... but other than that small dagger the day was basically amazing, oh yeah that is until we got to the metro and realized the red line was single tracking between Dude-poke circle and farragut north...F metro 

I'm Sorry Nick Young

Nick Young, you got Fucked by the NBA hard, you deserve to be in the dunk contest fo' sho' The Dunks you threw down in todays BEATING of the mavericks were NASTY i just don't think whoever chooses the dunkers has been watching you at all this season because you have had some really nice throw downs my man.. Fuck David Stern and Fuck whoever chooses the dunkers for All-Star weekend, because they definitely F'd you and you deserve to go out there and show the world what you could do, and most importantly bring a dunk title back to the D.M.V (D.C, Maryland, Virginia) area. I just don't think the NBA is ready for you, give them time, they will come around, and next season all eyes will be on you Nicky Hatten and you will bring home the dunk title and show the world that you truly are the illest dunker in the NBA... but as for now, just keep doing what you does, and remember, like my man Leon says "leave the door open..let 'em know you were there"

What A Bunk-Ass Superbowl

Im sorry Phoenix,  as a former U of A student I know how tranquil and relaxed your desert valley is, but that all is about to change with the invasion of all 5 burro's and crazy Bostonians... good luck finding time at a local tanning salon or hair gel at your local stores, it will all be gone because of those Fucking New Yorkers.. And the scottsdale bar/club scene will be full of blowout haircuts, open chested button downs, and horrible accents... And at the Super Bowl itself, all that will be served alcohol wise will be Jager-bombs and Heineken's (for the New Yorkers) and Sam Adams (for the New Englanders).. But as for the game itself, I am not exactly sure that the Patriots will cover that 13.5 point spread but they will do the damn thang, they are just too good, its a little unfair. But I must admit I am happy for Eli (the retarded Manning brother) and Coach Coughlin, they both get a lot of shit and its nice to finally see them silence their critics, but unfortunately i think they are going to get daggered BADLY...I am watching ESPN right now and I just saw that Tom Brady was in a walking boot, but he claims that he will be in the game unless he is in a stretcher, as a neutral 3rd party I would like to make a suggestion to the Giants, PUT HIM IN A STRETCHER!!!! 'Cuz that is the only chance you guys got to get Strahan and all the rest of you "G-Men" a ring...

Wizards-Dallas Pregame Report

So I'm about to take off to watch the Wiz Kids "spray paint their names in that ass" that is the Broke-back Dallas Mavericks. And it just made me think about how broke-back the city of Dallas truly is. Mark Cuban is a pretty funny character but he should stick to dancing with the stars, I doubt he even tried to bang out his dancing partner (who was insanely hot) considering he LOVES the cock. And I dont even want to talk about the German Scoring Machine that is Dirk Nowitzki (the product of man love between Hitler and David Hasselhoff). And now for the most broke-back part about the city of Dallas, the Cowboys...WHO ARE GAYER THAN AIDS... Their quarter-back Tony Homo is absurdly bad and a legit ankle-grabber, I would be willing to bet all $3.50 I have to my name that he doesnt even attempt to bang out Jessica Simpson.. And T.O how can you possibly like him "but he's my quarterback!!!!" I'm sorry for the short blog but I have to roll to watch the Wiz-Kids do their thang....

*I really do not have a problem with homosexuals...but I really hate Dallas

The Ambiguously Gay Duo

What is Fox thinking having Troy Aikman and Joe Buck working together? Is it just me or do these two love each other?? Im pretty sure that when the camera isn't on them in the booth or at the hotel before the game they hook up with each other. And they are without a doubt the two WORST announcers EVER... Troy Aikman says the most retarded/useless comments ever and is so bias towards the Broke-back Dallas Cowboys and Joe Buck is just annoying to listen to, stick to baseball please, Fox should know by now that these two should never work together they feed off each other and create the worst announcing team ever since John Madden (who I love, think he's hilarious) and Pat Summeral (who is plain and simply senile).. oh and the final reason why I hate these two announcers is because every time the 'skins play and they are announcing WE LOSE...F them