What A Bunk-Ass Superbowl

Im sorry Phoenix,  as a former U of A student I know how tranquil and relaxed your desert valley is, but that all is about to change with the invasion of all 5 burro's and crazy Bostonians... good luck finding time at a local tanning salon or hair gel at your local stores, it will all be gone because of those Fucking New Yorkers.. And the scottsdale bar/club scene will be full of blowout haircuts, open chested button downs, and horrible accents... And at the Super Bowl itself, all that will be served alcohol wise will be Jager-bombs and Heineken's (for the New Yorkers) and Sam Adams (for the New Englanders).. But as for the game itself, I am not exactly sure that the Patriots will cover that 13.5 point spread but they will do the damn thang, they are just too good, its a little unfair. But I must admit I am happy for Eli (the retarded Manning brother) and Coach Coughlin, they both get a lot of shit and its nice to finally see them silence their critics, but unfortunately i think they are going to get daggered BADLY...I am watching ESPN right now and I just saw that Tom Brady was in a walking boot, but he claims that he will be in the game unless he is in a stretcher, as a neutral 3rd party I would like to make a suggestion to the Giants, PUT HIM IN A STRETCHER!!!! 'Cuz that is the only chance you guys got to get Strahan and all the rest of you "G-Men" a ring...